Progress?

Like a bad drug...?

It's kinda crazy. I've really been focusing on my diet this week and I actually feel like shit. I think I'm experiencing sugar/fat/excessive calorie  withdrawal or something. I'm getting bad headaches, I'm tired, etc. Weird... Haven't been on the bike yet, but I'm planning on a couple of short rides this weekend.

Fitness Lost and Fitness Regained

How long does it take for a total loss of fitness? Judging from experience, I'd say about 8 months.

It's been almost eight months since I gave up on my road racing goals, and, consequently, any sort of physical activity.

How did it start? Well, it's a slippery slope. For me, it all started with an increase in my responsibilities at work. This amounted to an additional 12-15 hours a week spent on my day job and those additional hours had to come from some where. Something had to give, and cycling, or even more broadly, working out, was the victim. Priorities...

What happens next? For a few weeks, I tried my damnedest to squeeze in my planned workouts where I could. This amounted to one hour trainer rides at the less than ideal times of 5 AM or 9-10 PM. In my opinion, this was not enough volume to establish the necessary fitness for racing. I got discouraged. Very, very discouraged. So I decided I wouldn't do any road races for the spring or summer and instead, turn my focus to cyclocross racing. After all, my workload would probably lighten up by then.

It didn't. In fact, it got worse. So, I stopped doing anything. And I mean anything. In fact, for the last seven months the only real exercise I've had is walking up the two flights of stairs to my cubicle. I gave up on my goal to race cyclocross, because I had already lost so much fitness - in my mind, trying to regain what I had lost in a short period of time was unrealistic.

All this inactivity had it's consequences (other than the obvious fitness loss). I put on weight. I started drinking a lot of beer, and eating a lot of really crappy food. I put on more weight. That didn't feel so good.

That's when the depression set in. It was a real nasty funk, the basic ingredients being exhaustion, lethargy and a heaping helping of hopelessness. I couldn't even imaging racing, I didn't want to train, I didn't even want to ride my bike. In fact, I didn't want to do a damn thing. Except eat more shitty food and drink more beer. Dark days indeed. This lasted from July to October. Yeah, it was quite a ride.

Don't call it a comeback.

Then, slowly, my workload started lightening up and I could actually breathe again. I just got back from a nice family vacation at Disney World. I feel like I'm getting a bit of the fight back in my soul, or, at least, I'm starting to feel like I have some control over my situation.

I actually rode my trainer a few times, for 30 minutes a pop and it felt kinda good. Thinking about riding my bike actually makes me happy and doesn't feel like a huge chore as it did in the past.

So here I am, roughly 30 lbs overweight, with the only miles in my legs being walking to and from the office. I've got a really long way to go, I know, but I'm putting a stake in the ground to get into shape so I can race cyclocross next year. And I'm starting now.

Starting off slow, with 30 minutes of activity (running, cycling, swimming, cross country skiing, etc), an improved diet, and I'm going to document it all for posterity sake on this here blog. If you've been here before, you may have noticed the new look. I added some "Belgian" cobbley flair because I've always gotten a tremendous amount of inspiration from the Spring Classics. The flahute or hardmen of the cobbles always motivated me when the going gets tough and given the state I'm in, I've got a pretty rough stretch ahead of me.

Rollers

I got an awesome gift from my wife last Christmas. A set of Kreitler Rollers. To those not in the know, Kreitler makes some of the most amazing rollers on the market. They are smooth, durable and you can tell they were made with pride.

I've been riding them pretty consistently for the last seven months (past three months excluded) and I can honestly say, no indoor training aid has helped my cycling as much as these rollers.

Getting started on them was a bit of a challenge but once I got used to it, they really aren't that difficult. It does take a great deal of concentration though. If you let that concentration wane, you'll know it. Why, just yesterday morning I was reminded of that lesson as my front tire slid off the roller and onto the ground. I didn't fall, but it certainly shook the morning sleepies out of me...

Once you get out on the road, that's when you really notice the benefits. Things like a quiet upper body, a smoother spin, better balance and, probably the biggest thing for me, better and more confident bike handling skills all become apparent once you hit the tarmac.

Anyone who hasn't tried them, I encourage you to, it will make you a better cyclist.

Momentum

If there's one thing you learn from cycling, it's the value of momentum. This lesson doesn't take long to learn: the first time you stop on a hill and try to start up again, it's plainly apparent. Then, as you become more seasoned and more familiar with the depths of the "pain cave", you realize it's easier to maintain a  a steady pace than it is to slow way down and speed up again.

Like other lessons learned in this amazing sport, the value of momentum is applicable to the "real world" as well. The only difference is, on a bike, you are either moving forward or you are not. In the "real world",  I will venture to say, there is no static state, it is either positive and negative movement. 

Life is a constant state of flux. We are either doing things that will make us better (better workers, better husbands/wives, better fathers/mothers) or we are doing the opposite. There is no pause, no stop.  

This is where I find myself now, trying to establish momentum. Momentum at work, definitely momentum on the bike, and momentum with my wife and daughter. It's not a bad thing to strive for, but here's the tricky part - I've got a limited amount of time and energy to "get the ball rolling" in all these aspects of life. 

It's a bit of a juggling act and my juggling skills are sorely lacking. In fact, I'm beginning to realize that, at best, I can maintain mediocrity in three areas of my life at the same time, but if I want to excel in any of them, my focus needs to narrow to two. 

Lately, the focus has been family and work. I can say that both are going really well. But... I miss cycling. It's my passion, and it calls to me every day like a friend who wants to help me get over an ugly break up. I'm not even going to talk about the toll my time away from the bike has taken on my physical shape... 

So, now I'm at a cross-road. Do I start riding again, with a goal to race, and accept finishing at the ass-end of the pack in order to keep the other areas in my life good? Or do I forget about racing and just ride occasionally when the mood strikes so as not to face the inevitable frustration and disappointment of getting whooped every race? 

I'm writing this at 6:00 AM as I wait for the sun to come up so I can head out for my first two hour ride in over three months. At least it's a step in a positive direction.

Bike Racing, Honor and Sacrifice

This topic has been talked about ad nauseam and I've read all the different opinions and perspectives on whether Contador should have or shouldn't have waited and I figured I'd put in my own two cents. I'm not going to say that Contador should have waited for Schleck or that he was justified in attacking while his opponent was fixing his bike, but I am going to look at the implications of what Contador did and how it will affect his victory.




First, let's put this into a different perspective: say it was a local race series, and week after week, you race against the same guys and you consistently finish in third place. Then, one week, the guys who were consistently finishing first and second don't show up and you win the race. Sure, it's a victory, but it's not as sweet as the one where you bested the same guys that were beating you week after week. I think this is the same type of thing with Contador.

Is "El Pistolero" going to chalk up another TDF win? Undoubtedly. But, given the way he achieved  victory, will it truly be as sweet? I have to say no. That attack was motivated by fear and doubt and not the attack of a champion. Lady Luck handed Contador a gift and, because he hadn't been able to drop Schleck in previous attacks, he took full advantage. I'm not saying this was wrong, I just think it detracts from the elegance, purity and honor of his efforts and it turns the focus from Contador's exceptional fitness and prowess on the bike to a unfortunate incident that befell his main rival.

In my mind, when I visualize great victories, they inevitably involve sacrifice and risk, and with that sacrifice comes a sense of honor and a deep respect for your competition. Then there's also the satisfaction of knowing you gave absolutely everything to beat your competitors, who, in turn, were giving their all to try and beat you.

I've participated as a Cat 5/Cat 4 racer in both road and cyclocross races, and you come across all types of personalities. The ones I have the hardest time dealing with are the "winning is the only thing that matters" types. To me, this is the mentality that encourages sand bagging and un-sportsman-like conduct.  I think this type of behavior results from insecurity or maybe even laziness. This is the easy way, a short cut, and the path of least resistance. And, as most true cyclists can attest, this isn't a sport for those that look for the easy way.