Saturday, September 12, 2009

Back From the Clinic

Nope, I'm not talking about where you go when you have The Clap, I'm talking about a cyclocross clinic. And what a doosy it was...

First off, there was this thing:

This is "The Orange Crush" and it's a bitch. If there was ever something that made you realize that you take too long to clip in, this is it. You've got roughly 6 feet up there before plummeting down the ramp...

Here are some of my thoughts, recollections and observations from the clinic:
  • Water is good, drink lots of it.
  • the sun is hot.
  • When you are being lapped by a really fast, elite level rider, they make very little noise.
  • I'm damn glad my bike has an aluminum steerer. There were a couple of my transitions coming off the ramp of "The Orange Crush" where, if my steerer had been carbon, I think it would have snapped and my face would have gotten intimate with the grassy substrate.
  • I love to hit myself in the head with my saddle when shouldering the bike. In fact, it's my favorite thing to do.
  • For those of us who are less than stellar bike-handlers, some sections are just easier to run
  • I hate running.
  • Barriers are fun.
  • I jump WAAYY too high on my remount - if not remedied, this may, one day, give me what I like to refer to as "the poor-man's vasectomy".
  • When I'm truly suffering (as I was during the last 3-4 laps of the 40 minute practice race), well wishes and words of encouragement only serve to further demoralize me.
  • Tuberculosis originated at a cyclocross race during the 1600's.
  • I love Challenge Fango tires.
  • I want a new bike.
  • I have what's know as "Monkey Arms".
  • PB&J is not a good pre-race food.
  • Fig Newtons are amazing.
  • After a long day of riding, I crave sweets and baked goods like a son-of-a-bitch (such as chocolate chip cookies and carrot cake).
  • I hate cyclocross.
  • I like things that make me suffer.
  • I love cyclocross.
Thanks to Kinetic Systems Bicycles, Tailwind Enterprises and The Flying Rhinos Cycling Club for a great time!


  1. Good write up... I got the point that you have a love/hate relationship with CX!! LOL!!

    I must have really pissed you off yelling at you every lap!! Wish I could have been out there suffering with you, but I had to race the next day.

    What are "monkey arms"?

  2. Gary, now that's some funny S#@T right there!

  3. "Tuberculosis originated at a cyclocross race during the 1600's"